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Facebook Quotes: 63 Statuses You Should Steal

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Yesterday marked the 10 year anniversary of the phenomenon we call Facebook. By now you’ve probably watched the popular film The Social Network, and are familiar with the story of the service and it’s controversial founder.

If not, here’s the abridged version:

– Mark Zuckerberg creates a simple website in his cramped Harvard dormroom

– The website, then called thefacebook.com,  begins to grow in popularity amongst college students before hitting it big when it’s publicly released

– After cutting ties with some of his partners, Zuckerberg becomes the lone face of the brand and grows it to 1.2 billion users worldwide.

– Zuckerberg at 29 years old is now worth close to 29 billion.

Today, many of us can’t imagine a world without Facebook. It’s become a massive connector of family and friends and a way for people and businesses to communicate with large groups of people. It’s also become an incredibly personal way to let your family and friends know how you’re feeling at any given time.

If you’re one of those people who agonizes over finding the perfect quote or line to update your Facebook status with: look no further.

Happy or sad, cute, clever, funny, or inspirational, this list covers a variety of topics for every emotion.

Facebook Quotes: 63 Statuses You Should Steal

Funny & Hilarious Statuses:

1) On Human Stupidity:

via: www.funnyforrest.com

 

2) I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg

 

3) I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people – Unknown

 

4) The back of every furniture assembly manual should have a coupon for couples counseling. – Unknown

 

5) I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila. – Unknown

 

Inspirational Statuses:

6) On Success:

via: quotes-on-the-horizon.tumblr.com

7) Kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean. – Unknown

 

8) To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. – Bertrand Russell

 

9) The best way to predict the future is to invent it. – Alan Kay

 

10) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. – Truman Capote

 

Love Statuses:

11) One “The One”

via: imgfave.com

12) Anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

 

13) Love the person who deserves it, not the one who requires it.

 

14) I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with.

 

15) Love is patient, love is kind. love will make you lose your mind.

 

Related: Drake Quotes: The 28 Best Lines & Lyrics On Life, Love and Success

Dating Statuses:

16) On Being Yourself:

via: we-missed-the-sunset.tumblr.com

17) I turned out liking you, A lot more than I originally planned. – Unknown

 

18) Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain. – Mae West

 

19) Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. – Wayne Dyer

 

20) Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women. – Natalie Portman

 

Relationship Statuses:

21) On Starting A New Relationship Right:

via: inspirationalquotesb.blogspot.com

22) Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. – Unknown

 

23) You may have history with her but you have chemistry with me. – Unknown

 

24) Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. – Unknown

 

25) If I fall asleep texting you, it’s because I didn’t want to say goodbye. – Unknown

 

26) I love it when you smile. But I love it more when I’m the reason behind your smile. – Unknown

 

Breaking Up Statuses:

27) On Missing That “Special” Someone.

via: www.commentskart.com

28) You can never “just be friends” with someone you fell in love with. – Unknown

 

29) Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.  – Katerina Stoykova Klemer

 

30) You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them. – John Green

 

31) Just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth having.  – Sarah Mlynowski

 

Related: Short Life Quotes: 30 Sayings To Get You Motivated

Anniversary & Wedding Statuses: 

32) On The Perfect Way To Sum Up A Marriage:

via: www.alphaprosperity.com

33) Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there. – Otomo No Yakamochi

 

34) I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.  – Rita Rudner

 

35) I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but… I want to spend every irritating minute with you. – Scrubs

 

36) In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine. – Maya Angelou

 

37) Whatever our souls are made of, [yours] and mine are the same. – Emily Brontë

 

Cute Statuses: 

38) On Being The Right Kind Of Woman:

via: favimages.net

39) I might as well call you Google, because you have everything that I am looking for.

 

40) Every minute I spend with you is like being in heaven and looking in an angel’s eyes.

 

41) You wanna know who’s amazing and has the cutest smile ever? Read the first word again.

 

42) Ever since I’ve met you, no one else is worth thinking about.

 

43) I’m not addicted to texting, I’m addicted to the person I’m texting.

 

Related: Hard Work Quotes: 40 Sayings To Strengthen Your Work Ethic

 

 

Flirty Statuses:

44) On The Perfect Flirting Line:

via: www.stumbleupon.com

45) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet but nothing compared to you. – Anonymous

 

46) Kiss me and you will see how important I am. – Sylvia Plath

 

47) Kiss me and you will see stars; love me and I will give them to you. – Anonymous

 

48) Not many people can take my breath away, but you don’t even have to try. – Anonymous

 

Sadness & Tragedy Statuses:

49) On Music As Therapy:

via: www.fanpop.com

50) Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss

 

51) You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. – Jonathan Safran Foer

 

52) Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.  – José N. Harris

 

53) Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep. – Clive Barker

 

Clever Statuses:

54) On Having A Dirty Mind:

via: imgfave.com

55) What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.

 

56) I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common.

 

57) I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.

 

58) I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it.

 

Family Statuses:

59) On The Endless Love Of Family

via: hqwallpapersplus.com

60) The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

 

61) What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.

 

62) Family is the most important thing in the world.

 

63) Having a place to go – is a home. Having someone to love – is a family. Having both – is a blessing.

 

Do you have any Facebook Quotes or Statuses we might have missed? Let us know in the comments.

header image via: wikimedia commons

Written by Quotezine Team

Michelle Quinteros is a pop culture and lifestyle writer with a fancy degree from McMaster University. When she’s not writing for Quotezine, she can be found excessively quoting The Simpsons or binge watching Netflix.

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